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My Virtual Life Running out the clock By Adam B. Ellick This is the kind of story you're supposed to keep to yourself. But public embarrassment is a minimal consequence for the chance to rescue a still-sane reader, so I'll let you in on my shame: I'm an Internet slave. I recognize that I'm far from alone when it comes to e-dependence, but for me it's gotten so bad that I might even be more reliant on the Net than a Czech is dependent on a mobile phone. Two weeks ago I was desperate for some good ol' American entertainment: March Madness -- the NCAA college basketball tournament. I went online hoping to listen to an audio version of the Temple vs. Seton Hall game. For a reason I still don't understand, I can't get a streaming-technology audio player to work on my laptop, so I settled for the text version of play-by-play. "3:13 remaining, Temple ball, they lead 51-49." A few seconds later the next report. "2:50 remaining, Seton Hall ball. 51-all." What is so ridiculous is that I was actually riveted to the text. I never imagined myself in a Prague 6 flat, anxiously awaiting my browser to reload every 10 seconds with sparse text updates of a college basketball game in progress across an ocean. This sort of experience justifies watching television. The game went down to the wire, and in basketball, that means long time-outs. So for five minutes, the browser reloaded but with no new information. ":33 remaining. Temple ball, they lead 57-55." ":33 remaining. Temple ball, they lead 57-55." ":33 remaining. Temple ball, they lead 57-55." Besides wasting my time, this addiction also cost me a few bucks, since dialing-up here is far from free. Temple's two final timeouts alone cost me 10 Kc. I recognize, however, that despite my money-draining weakness for e-abuse, the Internet has made my life away from home a lot easier. Besides obvious benefits like e-mail, online access allows me to read my hometown newspaper, allows for inexpensive Web phone conversations with my family, and now I'm even able to make transactions via my bank back home. All of this is possible only when I can overcome the archaic analog phone line in my apartment, which requires me to pulse dial. Speed is also a deterrent. My modem has never connected faster then 28.8k, the all-time low when I'm Web surfing in the States. I guess there's no hope for me. But at least I know the score. Adam B. Ellick's e-mail address is aellick@praguepost.cz (Kal's Korner will return next week.) |
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