Wednesday, December 20, 2000
Camera obscura
Intrigue, corruption, threats, violence. At times, it's been hard to tell politics from multiplex, so we've turned some of our favorite political moments into movie classics. Sort of. We disavow all knowledge of our actions.
Gone in 60 Seconds
Vaclav Klaus stars.
Analyze this: A Mlada fronta Dnes reporter leaves his mobile phone on during a Klaus press conference. Big mistake. Klaus, angry that it's not for him, hurls it against a wall. MfD apologizes tepidly. Says Klaus: "I don't know why I should apologize for such rude behavior by the reporter." In case you're wondering, he'd do it again. Only harder.
Battlefield Earth
Milos Zeman, Vaclav Klaus, Vaclav Havel, Josef Tosovsky, Zdenek Tuma star.
In the balance of power, one man holds the key. And everyone else wants it. After Havel names a new central bank governor, the warrior class attacks. Zeman, Klaus, Tosovsky, all wearing elaborate luminous headgear, cry that Tuma is not of the same galaxy; Havel is a treasonous imp. After many laser battles, Parlia-ment agrees to salute Tuma -- but only conditionally. They want him to wear luminous headgear.
Love's Labour's Lost
Dagmar Havlova, Pavel Dostal, star.
In blasting hubby Vaclav's choice for bank governor, two snipers are two too many for Dagmar. She asks her good buddy, Culture Minister Dostal, to relay this message to Zeman: She "will never again shake his hand." Zeman is thrilled. Dostal relays another plum, this one to Finance Minister Pavel Mertlik, whom she calls "the biggest liar in the world." After her audition, both men applaud.
Final Destination
Ondrej Havlin stars.
An inebriated ambassador tells the host nation what he really, really thinks. It's not pretty. The outburst comes a year after a run-in with a border guard (actually, sort of, uh, a run-over...) Havlin's Bulgarian blunders finally cost him his job. The last straw comes after he verbally strafes the Bulgarian prime minister and foreign affairs minister at a cocktail party. They don't call it the diplomatic corpse for nothing.
Eyes Wide Shut
Vaclav Klaus, Libor Novak, Jarmila Mlejkova and Milos Zeman star.
Amnesia muddles the mighty. In tax evasion testimony against former ODS Deputy Chairman Libor Novak, Klaus is stricken with memory loss. Amazingly, whole conversations vanish. Jarmila Mlejkova is also affected: she can't remember exactly how 7.5 million Kc ($187,500) ended up in her bank account. Later, as controversy envelopes H-System's bankruptcy (millions in home investment gone, poof!), even the luckless Zeman is undone. He forgets that the Social Democrats were on H-System's payroll. Klaus, asked to name his father, mutters only, "Napoleon?"
Mission: Impossible II
Gunter Verheugen, the Czech Republic star.
A remake of the classic, even if the Masayrk-directed original was better: A former communist nation bids to rejoin its European neighbors. The Europeans hold the secret code, known as The Date. Gunter, the EU's enlargement commissioner, teases Prague with The Date, only to lapse into uncontrollable stammering. In June, Verheugen manages to say: "the family is missing you already," producing joy, but by October, asked to elaborate, he says only, "You? Already?" Recently, he is heard to exclaim "2004!" although some insist it was really, "What for?"
The Next Best Thing
Milos Zeman stars.
"A politician who claims that he does not drink is either a liar or has a weak stomach, and a politician with a weak stomach is a bad politician." Zeman makes no secret of his love for libation. He's a recognized beer-iot, which combines the honed virtues of drinking and patriotism. Repartee is essential. Question: how is Slovak beer? Answer: It is "good only for the cleaning of teeth." One tough man, one tough job.
Keeping the Faith
Milos Zeman, Vaclav Klaus, Pavel Dostal star.
After a long day's (budget) haggling, Parliament compromises and members adjourn for a celebratory lunch. Zeman wants his favorite small sausage. Klaus tells Zeman their agreement doesn't cover a la carte items, especially small sausages. Zeman, snippy, says he'd rather be dragged out in handcuffs than not order small sausages at Klaus' expense. Dostal steps in. "I prefer to pay 21 Kc than to see the prime minister in handcuffs," he says. Zeman and Klaus leave him with the bill.
The Whole Nine Yards
Miroslav Slouf stars.
A meteoric rise, an equally swift fall. Zeman's "little brother" gambles and loses in a disastrous Senate bid. Slouf, the political adviser credited for Zeman's 1998 election victory, can't work the same magic for himself. After the November Senate fiasco, he volunteers to help Al Gore with the recount. Gore is ecstatic. You know the rest.
-- Prague Post staff
|
